Title TBD

I've been absent from my blog lately, a hiatus caused mostly by school work.
Here's what's new:

ToeOFF AFO
I've been walking more and more using the Allard ToeOFF AFO. It's been working great. I was finally able to ramp up the amount of time I spend wearing it so now I can wear it all day (with breaks to give my skin a break).

My leg brace with extra padding in the background.

I love that this brace gives me the ability to raid my closet for shoes. Now that I'm not wearing my bulkier brace I fit into some of my old shoes, some of which I haven't worn since before the accident. 

It's like my feet are going back in time to before the accident.

 

Wound VAC
For those of you who remember this little bad boy right here, I went through a stint on the Wound VAC. It sucked out all the unwanted buildup in my back in order to help fight the infection I was dealing. It's healed up (finally!) but I still have to be careful.

WoundVAC with complementary awkward man-bag.

Once it's had a few more days to heal I can...

Return to the Water!!!
 

It's difficult to convey how extremely excited and overjoyed at this I am!

I've been exiled from the water since last year, when I had to wait for my surgery scars to completely heal. Every few weeks I'd get excited that I might get to go back but to no avail. I'm not making this whole post all about that or it won't happen.

School
School is kicking my butt as we move toward another round of finals. I've got to get through the fall and the spring and I'll have my bachelors in biology. After I graduate I'm going to be looking for a career in bioinformatics. This fascinating field is all about paring microbiology and computer programming. I never expected to love computer programming but I seem to have a real knack for it. I'll soon be looking at grad schools for next fall.

Painting 
I've been filling my spare time with painting, an activity I picked up recently. I currently have several underway. Here are a few fun one's that I've done recently:

Who-who!

 Bird of Paradise

 

 Long shadows are long.

Not actually mine. This picture is from my Dr.'s office in Albany this summer. I will have to paint my own version of this at some point.
 

My take on the Mutts comic strip.

The turtle I painted onto the stopper of my cane.

Return to the Water

In case you didn't know, if you have an open incision (such as the kind you'd get from surgery) you're not allowed to swim. Swimming greatly increases the chance of infection and causes the scar to heal really strangely. My body heals extremely slowly ever since the accident, so the incisions should have taken a month to heal has taken almost 3 months! But finally I'm getting BACK IN THE WATER!!!

Awesome turtles thanks to surf photographer Clark Little

The sea turtle has become my symbol in more ways than I had ever imagined: I'm slow and awkward on land but in the water I can dominate. I've been aching to swim for ages now; I always feel slightly incomplete without the water to play in. Besides being a great workout, it loosens all my joints giving me freedom of movement that I don't usually enjoy.

Since my hiatus from the water, I've become significantly more mobile on land. There are however many moves that simply cannot be performed with canes and a gimp leg. In the water these limitations vanish. Suddenly, I can perform headstands, do flips, do karate kicks, and move my body in ways that only bring frustration when I attempt them on land.

The moves I can perform now on land were the ones I was practicing in the water only a few months ago. So the crazier I get in the water now the better I will be able to move on land soon enough. Are you ready?

Freedom!

For 6 weeks I've had movement restrictions, put in place by my spinal surgeon. I'm not allowed to bend, twist, lift over 10 lbs, not allowed in the pool until my incisions heal completely, and not allowed to drive.

 

Attention Peter: 

Do not BEND FORWARD (over 90 degrees)

Do not TWIST

Do not LIFT over 10 lbs

Sincerely, The Precaution Police

(This was put on the back of my wheelchair by my therapists in 2010 after spine surgery.)

The first three I've had in place before so there was no surprises there; the restriction that really got under my skin was not being able to drive. It's not like I had no transportation at all: my mother begrudgingly chauffeured me around Elizabeth City and my friends took pity and picked me up. What I miss is the freedom to come and go as I please. This is all going to change on Tuesday, when all my restrictions are lifted!

I'm not going to go completely nuts, though there are some more complicated maneuvers I wanted to try. I've already tried jumping on a trampoline and working on a balance board. The trampoline was fun but harder than it looked. The balance board was a familiar activity, though this time my therapist combined it with an inflated disk underneath. This changed the balance, reminding me of before the accident. I was a strong skier and a passable snowboarder, and this particular exercise reminded me of what it was like to keep my balance on my snowboard.

 

Shredding the powder, back in the day

This gave my therapist the idea to try me on the skateboard they had in the gym. It went pretty well, considering I was a terrible skater before the accident (the gimp leg not helping matters at all). It was fun in a way that I haven't enjoyed in a long time. Who knows, you may see me skating down the street one of these days, with a cane strapped to my back for emergencies.

I'll settle for being as off-balance as I used to be.

I'm definitely getting stronger, though I still have a long way to go. The one thing that is guaranteed to improve my mood is I will soon be allowed back in the water, a turtle's natural habitat. The incisions from my surgery were extremely slow in healing, but they are finally healed enough to allow me to get back in teh pool. No matter what how sluggish I may be on land, I rule the waves!

I'm not quite counting the minutes until I can bend, twist, lift, drive, and swim but I'm really close. Three more days, three more days, three more days...

A New Spring In My Step

As should be evident from the fact that I'm writing this, I survived Irene. And what an interesting storm she was. I did end up walking outside, mostly just to say I could. The wind was not as much of a problem as I thought it would be. It knocked me around a little but not enough to floor me. So all in all a good experience. And now I can say I've walked through a hurricane. Things are looking bright. In PT I noticed that my AFO (ankle foot orthosis), or lower leg brace, gives me a little extra push that I hadn't noticed before. The AFO braces my ankle, keeping it at 90 degrees. When I walk through my ankle stays in the same position regardless of where the leg is; the force I put downward at the toe transfers to the support on my calf, springing my leg forward. I have a new spring in my step! Other positives have happened as well. In the pool I've been learning how to jump again. We've started this off by practicing bouncing over the giant lines on the bottom of the pool. It's rather fun, like I'm playing a giant game of hopscotch. Well at least when I'm forced to a high stakes hopscotch match I'll be ready. Now I'm feeling pretty darn good at the moment. This is thanks to a number of people who surround me. I didn't get where I am on my own. These are the people who get me out of the house, get me to walk down trails I never would have seen, get me to swing on a swing set again, the ones who pick me up of the ground when I fall, and give me a shoulder to lean on when I need one. Thank you for taking me this far. I'm strong and I'm getting stronger but no one ever really gets somewhere on their own, not really. We all need support and someone to lean on occasionally.

One Small Step For Man (or Why You Should Never Tell A Therapist You've Been Lazy)

After my last post I received some mild scolding for lying out and not doing a whole lot. But nothing compares to when I admitted to two of my therapists I had been a little lazy this past week.

My first therapist Courtney is my aquatherapist. We work at the YMCA pool exercising my legs, arms, core, etc. On a normal day she works me hard enough that I collapse into a small puddle when I'm done.


It's my own fault for telling her but I try and maintain a policy of honesty with my therapists. Her response was to make we swim endurance laps, kinda like wind sprints in the water. She had me swim a lap, wait a minute, swim a lap, wait 30 seconds, swim a lap, wait 15 seconds... you get the idea. She did this with the butterfly, then made me do it with just my arms with a piece of foam between my legs so I didn't cheat. Then she had me use just my legs using a kick board. Then all together. Broken up with underwater jogging, crunches and a whole lot of evil. Needless to say the usual puddle I melt into had turned straight from liquid to vapor. (take that metaphor how you like)

On Friday, apparently not learning from my mistake, I told my therapist I had a pretty easy week. We never left the workout mat, working entirely on core and abdominal exercises. What I normally do is bridges:


They are a hard exercise that work all your core muscles. I've been doing those for months in various forms. Now to make them even more work I wasn't even allowed to have my feet on solid ground. She put an exercise ball under my feet to turn it into this:

I know I deserved it but sheesh! During the workout she warned me "you will be sore tomorrow so prepare to hurt." ...and I did! So I got my comeuppance in the end for my week off. Oh well the summer is almost over and I ended it with a bang.

Speaking of a bang here is something for those who have kept with me this whole time: my first real steps!

Beach Fun, AFO, and More Leg Brace Problems

Sorry I haven't written in a while. I just started two summer courses, Intro To Computer Programing and Psychology. So for a while I won't be blogging as often I used to. I went to a gay pride festival in my wheelchair. Or should I say my rainbow wheelchair. I had lots of fun, though some people made me feel vaguely uncomfortable. They kept coming up to me and saying things like "You know you're real brave, you know that," or my favorite "you're such an inspiration!" Random people kept coming and giving me hugs. I should have expected it. But I've become so accustomed to people knowing who I am and who are used to me. Meeting this many strangers made me feel strangely separate. I was a weirdo way before I was injured, so it kind of fits. I hung with an awesome group who were weird in vaguely the same ways as I am. I met some people from all over the state and I won't be forgetting them any time soon! I wheeled around on the moderately hilly grass, people occasionally stopping what they were doing to help me wheel through. I'm just not one of those people who will refuse help when I could actually use it. For anyone who doesn't know, wheeling on grass is really annoying! As the day went I took my crutches and grabbed my swim suit and hopped over to the pool. People tried extremely hard not to stare. *stare* *look away* *stare* *look away*. Finally in the evening we went to the beach. Here I put on my old leg brace and walked on the beach, where the dance party was. By that time I didn't do any dancing but hung around with my cluster of friends on their beach towel. Walking on sand was an intense experience. My canes sunk into the sand if I leaned on them very much, so I ended up walking with almost no support whatsoever. Needless to say at the end of this day I was dead tired. I slept well that night. Outer Banks Beach Frence by Randy Steele I managed to get my AFO (ankle foot orthosis) which I got casted for the other day. It's pretty boring, just molded plastic and Velcro. We got the most bare bones version we could so that we could take it in the pool, to practice walking underwater. The AFO is extremely useful because it stabilizes the ankle, which otherwise has a tendency to roll out from under me as I walk. The difficulty is that it also pushes the knee forward due to muscle tightness in the hamstring. This forces me to use my quad and hold the knee tight, which I need to be doing anyway. And finally my leg brace is on the fritz again! The wires are beginning to pop out of the case, with the possibility that my cats got to the wires. Not majorly, just enough that when you tilt the wire to the side it shuts off power to the brace. As I was leaving physical therapy it went on and off three times in less than 50 ft. All the orthotists had left for the day. So it's broken for a while. Most likely they will send it off to Minnesota to get repaired. It may be a while before I get it back but I guess we will see.

Back Home: Swimming, Biking, and Avoiding Work

Sorry I haven't written in a while. I've been adjusting to getting back into my life in North Carolina. I was expecting to be energized and inspired, which is true for the most part (though not as much as I'd hoped).

Swimming
It's finally warm enough here to go swimming outside! I'm lucky in that my parents live on an inlet sound. The water is warm, only a little salty, and no chlorine! I still do go to the YMCA but there's something just so much more refreshing about swimming in nature. My goal is to swim every day; I haven't quite lived up to that yet but I'm getting close.



Fins
Having SCUBA dived in a previous life I had a pair of fins lying around. Though my dad was tempted to get rid of all the SCUBA gear since no one's used it in years I asked him to save the flippers. When I'm swimming normally I have enough movement in the water to move my left leg in almost any direction and in any motion, though speed may vary. The right leg is stronger than the left so I have a slight tendency to veer toward the left. For anyone who's used flippers, they exaggerate your every movement. Now instead of listing slowly to the left I steer into left wall practically every kick. Though not what I want it to be yet, it's good to have something to work on I suppose.



Biking
I have been using the hand bike more and more every week. I don't use it every day but I make sure to use it a couple of times each week. The area around our house is flat, with miles of farmland in between us and town. At the moment the top distance I've gone is about 8 miles (we clocked it on the car odometer) but I want to go farther still. I felt tired afterward but not exhausted, so I know I can go farther.



Otherwise things have been pretty calm. I'm picking out new classes for next semester but for the mean time I'm enjoying my relative time off (from school work anyway). I have good friends who drag me out to make sure I spend this time doing something fun, always walking of course. So all in all things even out I guess. My life hasn't changed too dramatically but enough that I've noticed.



What to look forward to: the disappearance of my wheelchair. I've been keeping it around, more as my security blanket than anything else. Though I only use it in the house now, both my doctors and therapists have told me to ditch it completely. But it's difficult after all this time. So they've given my parents permission to hide my wheelchair! We'll see how this goes. It hasn't happened yet but my mother has been sending me warnings that it'll happen soon. I'm going to miss you wheelchair.



If you haven't seen Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog you need to! From Joss Whedon, with Neil Patric Harris and Felicia Day. It is amazing!

Boot Camp: Day 2-3 - Days Full of Pep

Day 2
I had a doctor's appointment early Tuesday. In the questionnaire they had me fill out they posed this statement:

I am full of pep.

They had me rate it on a scale on how true this statement was for me. I've taken this survey before but every time I see this I started giggling very quietly to myself. That question that early in the morning is always hilarious.

These past two days haven't been full of too much pep. Yesterday my brace started out peppy but died after about 20 minutes. I'm retiring the new brace for the rest of the trip, until we can send it back to the company for repairs which should take about a week.

Yesterday I got onto the therastride again. This machine positions you over a treadmill with a weight supporting harness. Everything is controlled by a computer which tracks the weight you are supporting on your own, the distance walked, and your speed. The previous times I've used the therastride I'd need large amounts of help swinging my left leg through and keeping the leg straight. Now that I have some muscles at the hip I only have to have help keeping the left leg steady.





This is a rather arduous process that takes the work of several staff members. It is nice to be able to walk in an almost normal fashion on dry land again. But the coolest thing to happen was the muscle contractions of my left quads (thigh). Here is a video of the newly strong muscles at work:



I also got into the therapy pool for the first time on Tuesday. The water is my natural element so I flourish there. Kennedy Krieger has a pool with an adjustable floor height and underwater treadmill, complete with cameras built into the walls so you can see what's happening underwater.





Day 3
I am not a morning person at all and apparently my therapist really is. So this morning as I yawned, my body creaking and cracking, she was bouncing along full of energy. As the day wore on and I started waking up she got more tired. As she finally said "see, I'm finally getting tired" all I had to say was a resounding "HAH!"

Now we didn't get to walking with canes on the previous day because right before we were going to, the computerized leg brace died again. So on Wednesday we brought the old leg brace and decided to start with canes. We took a small field trip and walked down to the fish tank downstairs and the garden path just outside.

Apparently I made walking with two canes look too easy so once we returned to the PT gym my canes were taken away and I was given a quad cane instead. I've used a quad cane before with good results so I wasn't too worried. Still unsatisfied with how easy I made it look, my therapist asked me why I couldn't just use a single cane. I didn't have a good answer so I picked up one of my canes (notice the flames on the side) and this was the result:



Needless to say on both days, after three hours of physical therapy and one hour of pool therapy I was beat. At the end of the day I was definitely out of pep and ready to crash for the night.

The Turtle Is Back

To those who sent me comments about me hang gliding, I'm glad you were so excited about it but you really need to check the date that it was posted (hint hint). Life is different at the bottom of the pool. I love the freedom I have when I enter the water. A measure of my improvement is how well my muscles work in the water. Right now I can move my leg back forth, up and down, kick it out and pull it back... it's like having two full legs again. It's been a long time since I could say that. I've always loved the water. It allows movement that is impossible on land, free of annoying gravity. My muscles are now strong enough that I can do a flutter kick and the kick is getting strong every time I do it. I can see those small improvements exaggerated by the water. The water allows me not only to kick but to spin, do somersaults, wave my legs back and forth, you name it. A strange phenomenon that I've noticed is that my goggles end up acting as lenses. Something about their shape and the distortion allows me to see in perfect clarity even though I have my glasses on. So I leave the blurry world above and find myself in a crystal clear pool will moves I lacked above. I spend so much time under the water that I probably spend more time below than I do up above breathing! Don't worry I come up for air, though I wish I could stay at the bottom of the pool forever. My friend who had an injury higher than mine recently got a chance to go in the pool at Kennedy Krieger. The pool was the thing that finally made all the therapy I was doing click; the efforts of my therapist made sense in the context of the water. I hope the water gives him a new perspective on his injury, his therapy, and life. I know it did for. But then I am a turtle after all...

Frustrations, Rocks, and the Pool

So things have been sort of so-so lately. There have been several positives. For one, memorial day weekend! This means that I have monday off from therapy giving me a four day weekend (since I have therapy MWF). This has given me plenty of time to goof off, watch shows online, play video games, play with my cousins, etc. Second, my dad is in town for the week, a rare opportunity since he normally stays down working in NC. It has been good to have another male to talk about things that are going on in my life. I love my mother, but there are some topics you don't want to discuss with her (sorry mom). He brought a very awesome gift with him. One of his poker buddies got back from the southwest somewhere and gave each of them a stone with an emblem engraved. He said that he was given one with a scorpion but traded for one with a turtle engraved. Here is the emblem, though the color of the rock is a deep brownish/bronze. The website I found the picture says they're marketed as "energy gemstones." I like the name, since I had already found it very soothing to gently move my thumb around the smooth stone as I figured out my problems. Maybe it is my energy flowing into the rock. Who knows. My dad being home has been a blessing in the fact that he can sort kick my butt a little. He forces me out of bed and toward activities which will give my body a test/build endurance. I need someone to do this, since I'm still desperately clinging to childhood and my bulletproof college lifestyle. We've gotten up and went to the pool several times, both the warm therapy pool and the lap pool. On the other hand, there are the negatives. I have not spent this much time with my father in a very long time and we're already getting on each others' nerves. I want to say that I love my parents very much. That being said, I remember why I was so glad to go off to college. There are too many things that remind me that they will ALWAYS think of me as 6 years old, though to be fair I will always think of them as MOM and DAD, the people I called to when I was 6. Add to that the traditional family stress, my own lack of sleep, exhaustion, and pain, we have been close to murder a handful of times. But we do love each other, so I guess I can suffer through all of those for the people who gave me the love and support for when my life is in the crapper.

Not swimming but at least a little damp

This post will be fairly short because I am tired.
Today I got back in therapy pool! It was the first scheduled pool time which I have been feeling well enough to attend and it was worth the wait. I've missed being in the water, the freedom the water gives me. I flapped my fins and paddled my way around a little. Since I only have one time a week instead of the three I had on inpatient, I had no time to waste on swimming around (though I would have dearly loved to do so. Soon, soon) I spent the time working on walking, weight shifting, and balance, all critical skills I will need for walking on land later on.
This left me nice and loosened up... for 2 and 1/2 hours more of PT. So needless to say this day has left me tired.

The Turtle Swims Again

Today for the first time I swam.

I'd been swimming for a few brief moments before and after therapy in the therapy pool but it was few and far between. Again I am eternally grateful to my mother; she signed up for a gym with an amazing pool system and now I am able to swim free without constraint.

They actually have three pools. They use a mixture of chlorine and salt water, reducing the amount of chemicals they have to use. The salt water also makes for an amazing swimming experience. They have three areas: a lap swim pool kept at normal pool temp, a therapy pool kept at 96 degrees, and a hot tub which is to say the least really hot. They also have an outdoor pool area which they are in the process of opening up. This has several areas and a water slide. I would give almost anything to go on the water slide, but with a flight of stairs it is not handicap accessible (I guess they figure if you're handicapped, you have no business going down a water slide).

I swam in the therapy pool and had an amazing time. Not limited by my leg in the least, I swam many laps back and forth. It did sort of drag in the water like a log, but my right leg more than made up for it. Instead of being limited, I was light as a feather, swimming through the water with a grace I never managed on land (even with two legs). I felt strong, I felt nearly whole again, and I forgot that I had ever doubted my abilities.