I was 20 at the time of my accident.
I've moved around a bit in my lifetime. My dad worked in the army and
then the Public Health Service. We moved everywhere from West
Virginia, Germany, Wisconsin, to Seattle. Not strongly connected to
one place very closely, I was going to college at Colorado State
while my parents lived in North Carolina. Minus a few crazy events
here and there I had a pretty boring childhood and early adulthood. I
had never even had a broken bone.
Me pretending I know what I'm doing on a longboard.
After spending Christmas with friends,
I flew out to spend New Years with my family. We were up in Maryland
where much of my extended family lives.
THE ACCIDENT - December 29th,
2009.
The plan was to spend a few days in the
Baltimore area then drive home to North Carolina the day of the
29th. I've always hated long car rides, so I always tried
to sleep through them. I figured I'd be sleeping the entire ride to
North Carolina, so I spent the entire night before my accident
playing video games on my little cousin's XBOX (Lego Indiana Jones).
I was asleep practically before we left my Aunt and Uncle's driveway.
I did wake-up momentarily to hug my older sister as we dropped her
off at the airport but otherwise I was down for the count.
How I spent the last night before the accident. I finished the entire game about 30 minutes before everyone woke up.
I slept in the back seat up against the
door with my seat-belt on. From what I'm told, my Dad was driving on
the freeway when he saw the car ahead of him stop suddenly. My dad
slammed on the breaks and our car started spinning wildly out of
control. Our car slammed into the bumper of a neighboring truck.
My Mom was in the front seat and had
been knocked unconscious. My dad, awake and unharmed, told me later
that I was screaming my head off; I have no memory of this. They
shipped my off to Shock Trauma Center at the University of Maryland.
I had two of my vertebrae (L1 and L2) completely shattered, broke
both arms, and had lots of other internal damage. They put two
stabilizing rods on either side of my spine but the surgeons felt it
was better not do any surgery that could damage potentially intact
nerves. The bones in my arms were set and a metal rod was placed in
each.
I
broke L1 and L2(top of Lumbar curve) but my injury level is considered
T10(bottom of Thoracic curve) since that was the initial line of what I
could move.
I woke up not able to move anything
below the level of my belly button. The next few days were a morphine
haze interrupted by a swirl of visiting family. I was sort of
emotionally numb, staying upbeat the entire time. I just kept
repeating that I wasn't going to be stuck using a wheelchair. They
moved me out of there and into a rehab hospital. I starting to
learn about the realities of my new life and what it would be like to
move and live in a wheelchair.
I eventually went through all 5 stages of grief and loss over my legs. I felt that the part of my life where I walked had died.
It was about 6 days after the accident
when I finally broke down. I wasn't able to wheel myself around with
both arms in slings, I couldn't move very well, couldn't even control
when I shit, and didn't know what I would do. It all hit like a ton
of bricks.
NURSING HOME (rebreaking my right arm)
About
a week into my new rehab I rolled
on my right arm in therapy and rebroke it. My surgeons, extremely
irritated with me, said that I wasn't allowed to continue therapy there
for at least a month and advised me to go to a nursing home.
In the nursing home after I rebroke my arm.
Though some of my darkest moments were
in that nursing home, this was the place that I regained movement in
my legs. After a month not moving anything I wiggled my right big
toe. The next day I wiggled my left big toe. Progress slowed for
awhile but over the next few weeks I regained good chunks of my right
leg back.
KENNEDY KRIEGER
During my stay at the nursing home we
heard about the spine program at Kennedy Krieger Institute. An
offshoot of Johns Hopkins, the hospital had a reputation for
significantly improving function after spinal cord injuries. A few
people warned me, including my physical therapist at the nursing
home, that they felt Kennedy Krieger made too many promises. I was
hesitant but after the dismal conditions at the rehab hospital and the nursing
home I felt that anything was worth a shot.
The staff of KKI helped put my mind at ease and helped push me forward. Shown here trying out e-stim on my leg.
It turned out to be better than I could
have ever hoped. Primarily a kids hospital, the spine program's
inpatient wing will take you if you are under 21. Full of energy and
excitement, the feelings were infectious. They advocate activity
based rehab. This is the idea that muscles needs to be used and
exercised, in the hope to promote new nerve growth. They make no
promises but the research shows that if the spinal cord isn't cut
completely the working of muscles will help to promote the growth of
nerves. This is accomplished through electrical stimulus, in the form
of portable electrical stim-units and electrical stim-bikes. They use
these alongside more traditional mobility, balance, and care
training.
Showing off my wheelchair biceps and my scars.
MORE BACK SURGERIES
Repeat imaging near the end of my
inpatient stay showed that the broken pieces of spinal column were
pressing on the cord. I had gotten significant function back in my
right leg by this time but the left leg was still mostly inert. Even
electrical stimulus couldn't get the muscles in the left leg to move;
the hope is that another round of surgeries could improve my overall
function.
They cut into my back and removed the
broken pieces of spinal column. They then put in a metal cage and put
the pieces of bone back in. The alive bone cells would regrow into
the shape of vertebrae, this time without pinching my spinal cord.
It is safe to say I've seen more hospital beds than I care to mention. Here I am reading a stack of get-well cards
I stayed in Baltimore with my Aunt and
Uncle until the end of the summer, doing outpatient rehab at Kennedy
Krieger. While the effect wasn't immediate, over the next few weeks I
began to get significant function back. I had my right leg completely
back by the end of the summer and few more trace muscles in the left
leg. I now had enough function back to walk around with a leg brace
for short distances, with the help of a walker or crutches.
Out stretching my legs.
COLORADO
It was my goal to return back to
Colorado State again. I was still using the wheelchair but I felt
confident enough to move out there on my own. I happened to have an
older brother who was taking graduate classes at CSU at the time who
was willing to share an apartment. I was excited and pumped to start
things off again.
Though things started off strong, I
eventually started having various health problems. I'm not naturally
self motivating so when I felt down I would just lay in bed which
only made things worse. Eventually I was in so much pain I stopped
going to class altogether. By halfway through the semester I hit my
lowest point ever. My mother came for a visit and saw the condition I
was in. She asked if I wanted to move back home with them and I said
yes.
NORTH CAROLINA
Having someone to kick me out of bed
was exactly what I needed and my parents obliged. They started by
getting me to wheel around and to do more and more walking. Though
this was still difficult I got better. I slowly began to work up
stamina and endurance. I had a 3 times a week PT program and worked
out/swam at the YMCA. I transferred to Elizabeth City State
University, our city's university. Though no Colorado State
University they were close and offered a biology degree program. I'm
still in North Carolina today, working on finishing up my degree. I'm
set to graduate spring 2013.
My physical function continues to
improve. I go periodically to Kennedy Krieger for additional rehab.
These 2 week bouts, nicknamed “Boot Camp”, yield the most
exciting results. In January 2011 I trialed using two canes instead
of walking with crutches. In June 2011 I trialed using an AFO (Ankle
Foot Orthosis, up to just below the knee) instead of the KAFO (Knee
Ankle Foot Orthosis, up to the hip) I had used up to that point. I
started out the fall semester of school vowing that I would not bring
the wheelchair from the house; every time I left the house I would
have to take my leg brace. I was still using my KAFO when I walked
anywhere and used the AFO only in therapy. The KAFO was a heavy mess
of wires and levers. October 2011, one of the wires on my KAFO
snapped during a long holiday weekend. Since I had sworn to not take
the wheelchair from the house I used my AFO the rest of the weekend;
I never went back.
Trialing out two canes instead of crutches.
I finally ditched the wheelchair
completely this past January, two years after my accident. I was
using the AFO and canes well enough that I felt it was time. It was
hard to get used to at first but I managed eventually. My wheelchair
now serves only as a bed for my cats.
My most recent accomplishment is to
have regained enough strength and balance to switch to walking using
only one cane. Not quite as dramatic a shift as some of my others, it
still wasn't easy to adjust to losing a walking aid. I continue to
work toward my eventual goal of walking without any leg braces or
canes. I'm not there yet but these past two and a half years have
shown me it's more than possible.
I'm not the boy I was. Who can say what I'll do with my life now since I almost
lost mine. The focus of my journey has changed quite a bit, from
learning how to use my wheelchair to walking again. I'm walking full
time now but it wasn't quick or easy.
I fully acknowledge I was lucky my
injury wasn't as severe as it could have been and that I had a lot of
help along the way. I can't speak for everyone with a spinal cord
injury, since each experience is different. I do know that the most
important thing is to be up and aiming toward something. Whether this
is finishing the next level of school, getting back function, or
simply being fit enough to try something new. At one point I would
have stayed in bed and given up. And if I had stayed there I would
never have gotten out of my chair. So who knows where you might end
up.
One suggestion was to get shoes with more ankle support. I'm
pretty sure they were talking about hiking boots but since I have a
sense of style I got a pair of Chuck Taylors, the old school high top
Converse. Though I wasn't expecting these to make any difference, I
found myself walking better and better.
I began walking so well that I decided to leave the cane at home. That
first day was kinda rough but after that I just kept going. It's now been 2 weeks since I used my cane at all!
No I didn't break my canes. They're in the corner collecting dust!
It's that time of year again. BOOT CAMP! For any who doesn't know, Boot Camp is the name given by the staff at Kennedy Krieger Institute for a two week booster shot to my therapy program. Twice a year I go for two weeks to work 5 days a week for 3 hours a day. While this is not a substitute for regular PT, it allows my original physical therapists to see my progress and point me in new and exciting directions.
The first day is always evaluations, tests, and the like. I don't generally do a whole lot of work the first day, being the object of intense scrutiny by my therapists. After the initial tests we spent most of the rest of the session brainstorming possible goals and ways to achieve them. This sounds simple but if you have ever tried to write down a list of concrete achievable goals you will know how hard this is.
My widest goal is to walk without the need for my cane. I can already do this for short periods of time. The problem is that if I do this for more than a couple minutes the muscles holding me up get fatigued. I simply don't have the endurance to walk around without the cane just yet but I'm getting there.
Along this vein there are various strengthening exercises we will fine tune. We'll also be working on balance, which has improved greatly over the past year but is still not where I want it to be. Finally we'll be working on gait, fixing my walking pattern so that I don't waste energy or trip and hurt myself. There are various ways these can all be done, using some tools that I've used before and probably some that are new to me. I deliberately told my therapist to try any off-the-wall ideas she may have, that I'm willing to try most anything. This tact has yielded successful, if somewhat odd, results in the past.
I'm not sure of everything I'll be doing in the next two weeks. What I do know is that it'll be insanely hard work and will help me improve in the long run. I have no illusions that it'll heal me overnight but if it kicks me off my butt and spurs me on to bigger and better things it's worth every second.
One last thing. When it came time for lunch we decided to try a new restaurant. On a sidepath off the parking lot we found a rock garden that had been decorated with giant stone turtles. Thanks to the wonders of the internet I learned that a group of turtles is called a "bale of turtles."Who knew?
This weekend I went to my cousin's
wedding. I had a blast, dressing up in my best duds. I managed to
pull of a dashing purple shirt and tie, the cane I walk with now only
added to the look. I mentioned to one of my little cousins that
having a cane makes you look classy and he asked “But WHY does
having a cane make you look classy?” It just does.
I got numerous compliments throughout
the weekend. On my way to the back of the church I got high fives
from different excited family members, some of whom I hadn't seen
since I was using the wheelchair full time.
It's harder than you might think to work in jazz hands into a wedding...
It was humbling to see so many
congratulating me on my accomplishments. These were the people who
let me live in their homes when I was newly injured. These were the
people who saw me hours after I had been in my car accident, broken
and paralyzed. These were the people who had watched as I went out to
college in my wheelchair, only to return home after I realized how
physically taxing it would be. These were the people who supported me as I
went from wheelchair to full leg brace to ankle brace. These were the
people who have urged their friends to pray for me. These were the
people who have created a network of people across multiple
continents, including hundreds of people, all sending me goodwill and
best wishes. I am so lucky to have the support system that I do. If I
didn't have all of them behind me I wouldn't have made it this far
and that is a fact. This is a journey that can be done alone but is
better done with the support of family and sprawling network of well
wishers.
I'm continuing on, using the
strength that so many people have lent me over the years. One of my
aunts said that I exuded a kind of strength and a positive attitude;
I don't know if that's true but I guess it must be. What I do know is I have seen myself go
from paralyzed at the waist to walking, something that isn't going to
be the case of everyone with an injury like mine. I do guarantee that
no matter what type of injury you have you are capable of more than
you think. A quadriplegic can write a novel with a computer, those
without hands can paint with their feet, those without legs can run
marathons on prostheses. You may not be able to do everything that
you could before but find something that is on the edge of your
abilities and do it. Once you accomplish your goal find your limits
again and push them. You will surprise yourself and amaze everyone
around you.
As for me, I'm happy hitting the dance
floor at a family wedding. I may look odd but then so does everyone
else. After all, a guy with a cane isn't the weirdest dance you will
see at a wedding; not by a long shot.
Many of you have heard me discuss my leg braces (KAFO, stance-KAFO, and Roboleg) and my AFO (Ankle Foot Orthosis, or ankle brace), in gory detail. What you may not be aware of is the fact I've used many different walking aids over the past two years. The latest of which is my new cane (singular), the Airgo Comfort Plus.
It's design is sleek and smooth, it's got an awesome color, and its more sturdy than any of the canes I'm currently using.
For those who missed it, after I was injured on December 29, 2009 I couldn't move either of my legs for a month. I had given up hope of getting function back at that point when, surprise, I got a toe wiggling. Though this was an immensely positive sign it was months before I could even stand in the parallel bars.
After months of toil and hard work I was able to stand up using a walker and a leg brace that looked like it had been used when Polio was still around. The four legs of the walker allowed me to hang on tightly without falling over. This was a big step, proving that I had the potential to be standing and walking again. I used the walker for weeks while I slowly became used to standing upright and walking/limping forward.
The tree's not moving... Well NOW what am I supposed to do?
As I left inpatient I was given a pair of crutches from a friend who had moved on to using canes.
These allowed greater freedom of movement, now that I was starting to gain back my strength and endurance. Around this same time I also acquired my stance-KAFO (Knee Ankle Foot Orthosis, or full leg brace) and continued to relearn how to walk. I still have these crutches and hope to pass them on to someone else who needs them.
Fast forward to 2011, when I got my flame canes.
Inspired by the same person who gave me my crutches, I got two matching flame canes when I was ready for the challenge. It was hard at first to balance without the extra support from my crutches but I begun to use my canes more and more.
My physical therapists experimented with different cane combinations/types:
using one cane only,
using a quad cane,
trialing out other canes, as well as trialing these with all my different types of leg and ankle braces. I settled on using my pair of flame canes and my AFO to get around.
Now that I've finally gotten rid of my wheelchair for good (knock on wood) I've been looking about for a new goal to work towards. Though I've been able to walk with only one cane for some time (see video above) I've had a hard time doing this for more than a few minutes at a time. This past week I decided it was time to move from double canes to a single cane. It didn't take long to find this sleek and durable cane, the device that will help me limp my way into the future.
For anyone who is first starting out with a new spinal cord injury I have two pieces of advice:
1) Always listen to your physical therapist. They generally are very knowledgeable and will have practical suggestions that will help you physically improve.
2) Never be afraid to try new things. This includes braces, walking aids, physically challenging feats, social situations, a new job, a new school, etc. You never know what could happen to you and it just might be amazing.
I never expected to be walking again and yet here I am. I am not promising that those without working legs will suddenly rise up, walk, run, and dance the hula. But if you challenge yourself you are almost guaranteed to find you can do more than you thought you could.
The last post time I talked about going out into a club and having a blast. This time, not so much. I got separated from my friends for a few minutes in a crowd. I have a bit of difficulty walking in in straight lines, due to the lack of some key stabilizing muscles of my trunk and leg. So I ended up knocking into a few people, who all apologized to me before I had time to even start one of my own.
What the world looks like ALL the time.
I did find my friends in short order but this is just another example of how turtle speed has impacted my life. "Turtle Speed" is the name my friends have given to my sluggish pace; it comes in two varieties, the limp and hyper speed. My pace has increased since I've started walking, with the limp about as fast as my old top speed and hyper speed akin to the speed walk. My speed continues to improve with time, so I have high hopes.
In the mean time I will spend countless hours catching up, flagging down friends who got ahead of me, and undoubtedly getting lost. It's a good thing I'm not in a rush...
For anyone who read my previous post, Anatomy of the Awkward Crippled White Man's Dance, I made it clear that though I may look funny, I still love to dance. I got a chance to practice these ''skills'', at the birthday celebration of an amazing friend of mine. We went to a dance club in Norfolk, got on the dance floor to the techno-remix of every pop-icon of the last 40 years, and danced till we dropped. It was a blast! I took one cane on to the dance floor and showed that my hips and body may not be as nimble as I used to be, but I can still move to the beat.
I got a good workout, moving my body in ways it hasn't moved in years. This is proof of what everyone has told me again and again, that my improvement is become more clear and obvious every day.
I've even had official tests to prove the point. One test that has now been performed three separate times, twice after surgery and once this past week, is the Berg's Balance Test. This test involves performing various tasks (standing, sitting, picking things off the floor) that require various amounts of balance. The first time I took the test I scored in the low 30's (out of 56), not bad considering I was fresh out of surgery. I then went through a week of intense physical therapy after surgery and at the end of the week I performed the balance test again; I gained a few points, putting me in the high 30's (out of 56).
Almost two months after surgery, my physical therapists decided to perform the Berg's Balance test again to see how far I had progressed. I scored in the high 40's, gaining 10 points and improving in almost every category. Now that I'm allowed to bend, twist, and lift over 10 lbs I've been able to push myself once again. I'm getting stronger, my balance is better, and everything is looking up.
I'm enjoying this period of optimism and excitement. Every one who has seen me on a regular basis has remarked how my walking, standing, balancing, posture, etc., was looking better. I've been raised to be humble and not let success go to my head; so I'll keep plugging along. My prediction for this time next year I'll be walking onto the dance floor instead of awkwardly limping on. I can't promise you'll really want watch, since it's still likely to be pretty strange looking. So here's a message to all those watching silently from the sides: If this weirdo got onto the dance floor, why are YOU waiting on the sidelines?
Those of you who have known me since before the accident know I've never been a particularly good dancer (no coordination and two left feet never helped me out). I had limited skills; I could freak dance with the best of them, I even learned to swing dance, thanks to some of my closest high school friends. Losing mobility in the lower half of my body threw what few moves I had out the window. For those unaware, I was paralyzed from a car accident, T-10 (thoracic vertebrae) down, not able to move either of my legs. A month after the accident I got a toe moving and from there I've gotten both legs moving.
Me relearning how to walk
The problem with movement is that not all of it is equal. For those unaware, movement comes in two forms: gross movement and fine movement. Gross movement is the ability to kick out or jerk a limb. Fine movement is the ability to make small controlled movements. Fine motor skills take the combination of larger muscles and smaller stabilizing muscles. Obviously these take much longer to build and even longer to use properly.
Back when I was still having trouble standing and walking.
My right leg from the very beginning has been recovering faster, with most gross and fine motor skills returning. Though it has taken over two years, my right leg is almost back to where it was pre-accident. The left leg is always the late one to the party. It has made some great strides in gross movement, allowing me to walk around. The fine movements are still lagging though. I can move it mostly where I want to, but it's always slow and is difficult to control.
And there is more involved in the process than just legs. My abs and obliques, the muscles used to control your hips and waist, have had two years without doing a whole lot. I've slowly started to build these up but my time in my wheelchair did me no favors. All the small stabilizing muscles people take for granted are no longer there. I now have something to work toward.
cliffnotes for trunk muscles
Now that I've finally ditched the wheelchair for good I can get back to pulling off my awkward mistimed moves. In the mean time everyone is just going to have to live with my jerky, weird looking, and probably embarrassing dancing and everyone can just shut the hell up! So dance like there's nobody's watching!
Peter, before the accident, getting his "groove" on. He don't care what you think.
If you don't get this, go to youtube.com and look up Honey Badger.
For 6 weeks I've had movement restrictions, put in place by my spinal surgeon. I'm not allowed to bend, twist, lift over 10 lbs, not allowed in the pool until my incisions heal completely, and not allowed to drive.
Attention Peter:
Do not BEND FORWARD (over 90 degrees)
Do not TWIST
Do not LIFT over 10 lbs
Sincerely, The Precaution Police
(This was put on the back of my wheelchair by my therapists in 2010 after spine surgery.)
The first three I've had in place before so there was no surprises there; the restriction that really got under my skin was not being able to drive. It's not like I had no transportation at all: my mother begrudgingly chauffeured me around Elizabeth City and my friends took pity and picked me up. What I miss is the freedom to come and go as I please. This is all going to change on Tuesday, when all my restrictions are lifted!
I'm not going to go completely nuts, though there are some more complicated maneuvers I wanted to try. I've already tried jumping on a trampoline and working on a balance board. The trampoline was fun but harder than it looked. The balance board was a familiar activity, though this time my therapist combined it with an inflated disk underneath. This changed the balance, reminding me of before the accident. I was a strong skier and a passable snowboarder, and this particular exercise reminded me of what it was like to keep my balance on my snowboard.
Shredding the powder, back in the day
This gave my therapist the idea to try me on the skateboard they had in the gym. It went pretty well, considering I was a terrible skater before the accident (the gimp leg not helping matters at all). It was fun in a way that I haven't enjoyed in a long time. Who knows, you may see me skating down the street one of these days, with a cane strapped to my back for emergencies.
I'll settle for being as off-balance as I used to be.
I'm definitely getting stronger, though I still have a long way to go. The one thing that is guaranteed to improve my mood is I will soon be allowed back in the water, a turtle's natural habitat. The incisions from my surgery were extremely slow in healing, but they are finally healed enough to allow me to get back in teh pool. No matter what how sluggish I may be on land, I rule the waves!
I'm not quite counting the minutes until I can bend, twist, lift, drive, and swim but I'm really close. Three more days, three more days, three more days...
I'm finally out of the hospital! We've rented an apartment for a week while we're here. It's downtown, on the 23rd floor with a view of all of downtown Baltimore. Breathtaking!
I've been able to walk farther and farther each day. Yesterday I made it down the hall and back. We've estimated that the distance is about a block when I walk the whole length of the building. Today I pushed my limits: I walked down the hall, down to the mezzanine level where they had the business meeting rooms and a computer lab, down to the first floor lobby, and then up to the 23rd floor again, returning to the hallway outside the apartment.We've estimated that we walked a little over 2 blocks.
I figured since I made it that far I could keep going. I started walking to the end of the hall. Midway through I started feeling light headed. My mom, who was walking with me, said I was starting to look more and more pale. I realized that my walk was ending so beelined for the door. I made it before anything bad actually happened but I discovered the limit of my endurance.
It's actually really nice to know what my limits are. It's the only way you can set goals, the only way you can improve. When I go to PT they always ask what my goals are for my time with them. Tomorrow I'll be able to tell them that by the end of the week I want to be able to walk farther than those two block. I want to be able to recognize my new limits, which will be farther than the ones I have now. Limits are good once you recognize that it's possible to move beyond them.
After my last post I received some mild scolding for lying out and not doing a whole lot. But nothing compares to when I admitted to two of my therapists I had been a little lazy this past week.
My first therapist Courtney is my aquatherapist. We work at the YMCA pool exercising my legs, arms, core, etc. On a normal day she works me hard enough that I collapse into a small puddle when I'm done.
It's my own fault for telling her but I try and maintain a policy of honesty with my therapists. Her response was to make we swim endurance laps, kinda like wind sprints in the water. She had me swim a lap, wait a minute, swim a lap, wait 30 seconds, swim a lap, wait 15 seconds... you get the idea. She did this with the butterfly, then made me do it with just my arms with a piece of foam between my legs so I didn't cheat. Then she had me use just my legs using a kick board. Then all together. Broken up with underwater jogging, crunches and a whole lot of evil. Needless to say the usual puddle I melt into had turned straight from liquid to vapor. (take that metaphor how you like)
On Friday, apparently not learning from my mistake, I told my therapist I had a pretty easy week. We never left the workout mat, working entirely on core and abdominal exercises. What I normally do is bridges:
They are a hard exercise that work all your core muscles. I've been doing those for months in various forms. Now to make them even more work I wasn't even allowed to have my feet on solid ground. She put an exercise ball under my feet to turn it into this:
I know I deserved it but sheesh! During the workout she warned me "you will be sore tomorrow so prepare to hurt." ...and I did! So I got my comeuppance in the end for my week off. Oh well the summer is almost over and I ended it with a bang.
Speaking of a bang here is something for those who have kept with me this whole time: my first real steps!
As many of you know I have been experimenting with different forms of biking. I have used prepackaged electrical stim bikes, stationary recumbent bikes, handbikes...
My sister and I biking during her trip out to see me.
Stopping to pet an the neighbor's dog, who was adorable.
The view from a handbike.
To add another to the mix I am now using a stationary upright bike, the kind they use for spin classes. It is a little tricky getting on, since I have to hop, but once I'm on it's smooth sailing. I've been doing this for a little over a month and feel I'm really starting to get the hang of it.
Me on the spin bike.
My left foot stays attached using a pair of bike shoes with special cleats on the sole of the shoe. This is the type of shoe that lets professional bikers stay clicked into their tiny pedals.
I have good control over the left leg now, minus the ankle. The shoes keep my foot from going anywhere which allows my leg to use the bike as I normally would. This hints at a similar bike in the future, though not anytime soon.
My mom playing with the video function on the camera.
The bike is a vast improvement over the recumbent bikes. Though they offer more back support, the seated position is uncomfortable and not ideal. By having my back upright I can stay vertical and work on balance, keeping my legs and hips happier in the process.
The sign hanging on the wall, most likely from the spin classes. Yikes!
Puppy Tricks Now I love my mother dearly, since she has pulled me through this whole experience. One of her perhaps less endearing habits is to say to me "hey why don't you just...", asking me to do some feat or another. She has a fond habit of doing this when we are visiting with company, passing acquaintances, when we meet random strangers... My family has taken to calling these my "puppy tricks". These tricks are not particularly difficult or bad for me in any way, but they do leave me with the odd feeling of being a show dog.
Here is me showing off that I can in fact pick up stuff off the floor:
Sorry I haven't written in a while. I just started two summer courses, Intro To Computer Programing and Psychology. So for a while I won't be blogging as often I used to.
I went to a gay pride festival in my wheelchair. Or should I say my rainbow wheelchair. I had lots of fun, though some people made me feel vaguely uncomfortable. They kept coming up to me and saying things like "You know you're real brave, you know that," or my favorite "you're such an inspiration!" Random people kept coming and giving me hugs. I should have expected it. But I've become so accustomed to people knowing who I am and who are used to me. Meeting this many strangers made me feel strangely separate. I was a weirdo way before I was injured, so it kind of fits. I hung with an awesome group who were weird in vaguely the same ways as I am. I met some people from all over the state and I won't be forgetting them any time soon!
I wheeled around on the moderately hilly grass, people occasionally stopping what they were doing to help me wheel through. I'm just not one of those people who will refuse help when I could actually use it. For anyone who doesn't know, wheeling on grass is really annoying! As the day went I took my crutches and grabbed my swim suit and hopped over to the pool. People tried extremely hard not to stare. *stare* *look away* *stare* *look away*.
Finally in the evening we went to the beach. Here I put on my old leg brace and walked on the beach, where the dance party was. By that time I didn't do any dancing but hung around with my cluster of friends on their beach towel. Walking on sand was an intense experience. My canes sunk into the sand if I leaned on them very much, so I ended up walking with almost no support whatsoever. Needless to say at the end of this day I was dead tired. I slept well that night.
Outer Banks Beach Frence by Randy Steele
I managed to get my AFO (ankle foot orthosis) which I got casted for the other day. It's pretty boring, just molded plastic and Velcro. We got the most bare bones version we could so that we could take it in the pool, to practice walking underwater.
The AFO is extremely useful because it stabilizes the ankle, which otherwise has a tendency to roll out from under me as I walk. The difficulty is that it also pushes the knee forward due to muscle tightness in the hamstring. This forces me to use my quad and hold the knee tight, which I need to be doing anyway.
And finally my leg brace is on the fritz again! The wires are beginning to pop out of the case, with the possibility that my cats got to the wires. Not majorly, just enough that when you tilt the wire to the side it shuts off power to the brace. As I was leaving physical therapy it went on and off three times in less than 50 ft. All the orthotists had left for the day. So it's broken for a while. Most likely they will send it off to Minnesota to get repaired. It may be a while before I get it back but I guess we will see.
My have gotten more and more spread apart as I got more and more tired from Boot Camp. Notice this one is the week after boot camp. I was going to wait until I uploaded the pictures and movies off my camera but I left it in Maryland! It's on it's way back so I decided to post in the mean time. I'll post pics and vids when I have them.
Over the weekend I went kayaking! It was a blast and I'll be doing it again, for sure! The only bad thing was of course I got sun burned (pasty white boys tend to burn). My legs were both angled with my knees toward the outside of the kayak so only the inside of my legs burned. It didn't really hurt, it just made my legs look really unusual. I think I'm going to have access to a kayak this summer so I should be posting about this again soon.
On Tuesday the rigidity splint was made. This essentially is a cast of my foot with the foot flexed backward. Since my foot naturally drops down (I have no muscle control of that foot) my ankle joint has become unnaturally tight. This is especially bad because that tightness causes the knee to buckle if the ankle is braced; this makes walking with an AFO considerably more difficult. The hope is that this splint will keep my foot in a more neutral position and slowly loosen my ankle up. If it will loosen up my ankle it's definitely worth a try.
Picture this with a slit down the center so I can take it on and off.
The cast was made very quickly on Tuesday. It should surprise no one that I had it made it green. The therapist who made it took it back with her in order to finish all the adjustments that needed to be made. At the inpatient gym it was accidentally thrown away by one of my old therapists. Not to name names but it starts with S and ends in ephanie! I mean come on, you really threw it out! (just kidding, love you tons!) So a new one was made, which took all of 20 minutes so no harm done.
AFO and my knee
If you haven't seen it already you can see the video of my kneecap moving due to my quads. This is significant because it means I can temporarily (about 5 seconds) hold much of my weight on that leg. We've been using this new found skill to walk without my full leg brace. It still needs lots of work but I'm starting to get the feel for this new mode of locomotion (it's been a year and a half, so it's new to me). I'll keep you posted on the status of this as it progresses. Though I'm not going to be able to wear when I walk all the time, I've got a custom AFO on the way. I'll send pictures when it arrives, which could be a while.
Underwater AFO
My main therapist had an idea of combining the work I'd done with the AFO and the work I've done in the pool. We were able to take the AFO underwater because the AFO that I've been using is just a simple piece of plastic and velcro . Since the water supports much of my weight we have been able to focus on the work of individual muscles that need strengthening without worrying about the ankle dragging. This is the most stable I've felt ever!
Home Plan
Every time I go to Kennedy Krieger for boot camp I leave with a packet of stretches, exercises and recommendations. This program is what shapes my PT program from now on. It is my chief resource for everything PT as it focuses on my weakest areas. It focuses mostly on my left leg as well as strengthening of my core. I'll share bits and pieces as they become more relevant but its guidance will play a part in all of my recovery from this point on.
It was sad to leave again but I'm glad I won't have to keep that pace every single day. It was good to recharge my mental batteries with a boost of energy from therapists, family, and friends. I'm now armed with a new program and an reenergized will to succeed.
