The Turtle Walks: walking

Showing posts with label walking. Show all posts

Monday, September 21, 2015

Gains and Losses

My apologies for not writing an entry for so long. This blog was my outlet during my recovery but the past few years I've been bad at keeping up with it. I thought I'd just give you guys an update.

First of all, I've graduated with my Masters in Biotechnology from Johns Hopkins! Those of you who follow me know what a long road it's been and what a huge accomplishment it was to walk across that stage. Thank you to everyone who helped get me there.

Plus look at that handsome mug!

After graduation, the next phase of my life was in limbo. No one wanted to hire someone with little full time lab experience for the positions I was interested in. I had been looking since before I graduated but I kept at it. The next few months I was on my computer or at the computer lab, job searching 6 days a week. I applied to companies all over the US in a variety of fields so I was unsure if I would be staying in Baltimore or moving cross country.

Limbo: not as fun as it sounds.

Eventually my resume was picked up by a 24-hour Lab Testing company in northern Virginia and I was hired for a position as Sample Technician. Essentially, I sort and prep samples so that they are correctly labeled and in the required size/shape/type that the lab needs. It's complicated work and I'm rubbing elbows with people from various labs and building work experience. The crew I'm working with is awesome and supportive. The company expects a lot from us but my coworkers help to make sure everyone gets through.

It's a living...

The weirdest part about the new job is my new hours (11pm-9am). Anyone who's known me knows I've always hated mornings but my new schedule ensures that I'm up for almost every dawn. On my days off I've taken long walks around the neighborhood, seeing things in a way I never had. Here are a few of the fun pictures I took in the Hampden area of Baltimore before I moved.

Everything is prettier at dawn, even the concrete jungle.

I've moved to the Fairfax area, in a wooded suburb south of the city. It's quiet and relatively secluded and the best part: my commute has changed from an hour and fifteen minutes to twenty minutes.

My cats seem to have settled in nicely.

Lastly, for anyone who doesn't know, my mom Anne Exner passed away last month from metastatic breast cancer. She had had breast cancer back in 2000 and beat it with chemo and radiation. A few years ago it returned and lodged in bones, and about two months ago it was discovered in her brain. My mom opted not to receive additional chemo, instead enjoying the time she had left with her husband, 4 children, and 2 grandchildren.

She was an amazing person, very talkative, friendly, always there with some kind words and some helpful advice (whether you wanted it or not). She was a nurse and worked long hours, though made sure she had time for everyone else. She was always there with a kind word and a healthy snack. She was a world traveler, an experienced mom, a hard worker, and improving the world with an infectiously upbeat quirky attitude.

She is one of the biggest reasons I am where I am today. When I was injured back in December of 2009, she quit her job and moved in with my Aunt and Uncle while I did inpatient rehab. She drove almost an hour down to Baltimore everyday for months. While I lay in a hospital bed my mom would massage my useless legs and yell "MOVE!!!" over and over while I strained to move even a toe. She had been at this almost a month when I got a toe wiggling. She ran and got a nurse and they were both jumping up and down as they watched my right big toe twitch a millimeter.

She was always my biggest advocate. She was always helping me with insurance forms, medication lists, doctors appointments, scheduling my continuing rehab... she was always chatty and cheerful so even if someone didn't recognize me they knew me as Anne's son. She helped arrange the paperwork so that I could finish my Bachelors in Biology from Colorado State by finishing my classwork at Elizabeth City State University, the school in our hometown in North Carolina. There, she and my dad were able to provide me with the support and love I needed as I healed mentally and physically. She continued to push me, getting me to explore nature. My favorite quote from her, "Nature... it's everywhere!" was her response to any animals or cool plants we saw as I learned to walk again.

Even as I learned to walk without any canes and moved off to grad school, she was still there for me. She would call to remind me of my appointments and check how I was doing in my classes. She was always willing to listen to my woes and always had the best stories to cheer me up. She is the reason I have the job I do now, helping me to go through the paperwork and making sure I had all the required documents and was prepped for my interview.

When it was discovered that she only had a few weeks left, the whole family gathered together for a weekend that was both fun and very sad. Near the end, even when the cancer made it difficult to form sentences, she'd still say the first few words of movies quoted by the family (Emperor's New Groove or Young Frankenstein). Even in her final weeks she was still trying to get those around her to smile.

She's gone now and the world is a little less bright without her. Still, the world is a better place for her having been here. Every single person at the funeral had stories of her having been a great positive influence in their lives. With lots of family and friends, she was laid to rest outside Bel Air, MD.

There have been some significant gains and deep losses but for now, things are okay. I'm in a better place and I am looking forward to an exciting new career. I always end my posts with a song so this post I'll end with one of my mom's favorite song by The Beatles.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

My Story As Of Today: From Wheelchair To Walking

I was 20 at the time of my accident. I've moved around a bit in my lifetime. My dad worked in the army and then the Public Health Service. We moved everywhere from West Virginia, Germany, Wisconsin, to Seattle. Not strongly connected to one place very closely, I was going to college at Colorado State while my parents lived in North Carolina. Minus a few crazy events here and there I had a pretty boring childhood and early adulthood. I had never even had a broken bone.

Me pretending I know what I'm doing on a longboard.

After spending Christmas with friends, I flew out to spend New Years with my family. We were up in Maryland where much of my extended family lives.

THE ACCIDENT - December 29^th, 2009.

The plan was to spend a few days in the Baltimore area then drive home to North Carolina the day of the 29^th. I've always hated long car rides, so I always tried to sleep through them. I figured I'd be sleeping the entire ride to North Carolina, so I spent the entire night before my accident playing video games on my little cousin's XBOX (Lego Indiana Jones). I was asleep practically before we left my Aunt and Uncle's driveway. I did wake-up momentarily to hug my older sister as we dropped her off at the airport but otherwise I was down for the count.

How I spent the last night before the accident. I finished the entire game about 30 minutes before everyone woke up.

I slept in the back seat up against the door with my seat-belt on. From what I'm told, my Dad was driving on the freeway when he saw the car ahead of him stop suddenly. My dad slammed on the breaks and our car started spinning wildly out of control. Our car slammed into the bumper of a neighboring truck.

My Mom was in the front seat and had been knocked unconscious. My dad, awake and unharmed, told me later that I was screaming my head off; I have no memory of this. They shipped my off to Shock Trauma Center at the University of Maryland. I had two of my vertebrae (L1 and L2) completely shattered, broke both arms, and had lots of other internal damage. They put two stabilizing rods on either side of my spine but the surgeons felt it was better not do any surgery that could damage potentially intact nerves. The bones in my arms were set and a metal rod was placed in each.

I broke L1 and L2(top of Lumbar curve) but my injury level is considered T10(bottom of Thoracic curve) since that was the initial line of what I could move.

I woke up not able to move anything below the level of my belly button. The next few days were a morphine haze interrupted by a swirl of visiting family. I was sort of emotionally numb, staying upbeat the entire time. I just kept repeating that I wasn't going to be stuck using a wheelchair. They moved me out of there and into a rehab hospital. I starting to learn about the realities of my new life and what it would be like to move and live in a wheelchair.

I eventually went through all 5 stages of grief and loss over my legs. I felt that the part of my life where I walked had died.

It was about 6 days after the accident when I finally broke down. I wasn't able to wheel myself around with both arms in slings, I couldn't move very well, couldn't even control when I shit, and didn't know what I would do. It all hit like a ton of bricks.

NURSING HOME (rebreaking my right arm)

About a week into my new rehab I rolled on my right arm in therapy and rebroke it. My surgeons, extremely irritated with me, said that I wasn't allowed to continue therapy there for at least a month and advised me to go to a nursing home.

In the nursing home after I rebroke my arm.

Though some of my darkest moments were in that nursing home, this was the place that I regained movement in my legs. After a month not moving anything I wiggled my right big toe. The next day I wiggled my left big toe. Progress slowed for awhile but over the next few weeks I regained good chunks of my right leg back.

KENNEDY KRIEGER

During my stay at the nursing home we heard about the spine program at Kennedy Krieger Institute. An offshoot of Johns Hopkins, the hospital had a reputation for significantly improving function after spinal cord injuries. A few people warned me, including my physical therapist at the nursing home, that they felt Kennedy Krieger made too many promises. I was hesitant but after the dismal conditions at the rehab hospital and the nursing home I felt that anything was worth a shot.

The staff of KKI helped put my mind at ease and helped push me forward. Shown here trying out e-stim on my leg.

It turned out to be better than I could have ever hoped. Primarily a kids hospital, the spine program's inpatient wing will take you if you are under 21. Full of energy and excitement, the feelings were infectious. They advocate activity based rehab. This is the idea that muscles needs to be used and exercised, in the hope to promote new nerve growth. They make no promises but the research shows that if the spinal cord isn't cut completely the working of muscles will help to promote the growth of nerves. This is accomplished through electrical stimulus, in the form of portable electrical stim-units and electrical stim-bikes. They use these alongside more traditional mobility, balance, and care training.

Showing off my wheelchair biceps and my scars.

MORE BACK SURGERIES

Repeat imaging near the end of my inpatient stay showed that the broken pieces of spinal column were pressing on the cord. I had gotten significant function back in my right leg by this time but the left leg was still mostly inert. Even electrical stimulus couldn't get the muscles in the left leg to move; the hope is that another round of surgeries could improve my overall function.

They cut into my back and removed the broken pieces of spinal column. They then put in a metal cage and put the pieces of bone back in. The alive bone cells would regrow into the shape of vertebrae, this time without pinching my spinal cord.

It is safe to say I've seen more hospital beds than I care to mention. Here I am reading a stack of get-well cards

I stayed in Baltimore with my Aunt and Uncle until the end of the summer, doing outpatient rehab at Kennedy Krieger. While the effect wasn't immediate, over the next few weeks I began to get significant function back. I had my right leg completely back by the end of the summer and few more trace muscles in the left leg. I now had enough function back to walk around with a leg brace for short distances, with the help of a walker or crutches.

Out stretching my legs.

COLORADO

It was my goal to return back to Colorado State again. I was still using the wheelchair but I felt confident enough to move out there on my own. I happened to have an older brother who was taking graduate classes at CSU at the time who was willing to share an apartment. I was excited and pumped to start things off again.

Though things started off strong, I eventually started having various health problems. I'm not naturally self motivating so when I felt down I would just lay in bed which only made things worse. Eventually I was in so much pain I stopped going to class altogether. By halfway through the semester I hit my lowest point ever. My mother came for a visit and saw the condition I was in. She asked if I wanted to move back home with them and I said yes.

NORTH CAROLINA

Having someone to kick me out of bed was exactly what I needed and my parents obliged. They started by getting me to wheel around and to do more and more walking. Though this was still difficult I got better. I slowly began to work up stamina and endurance. I had a 3 times a week PT program and worked out/swam at the YMCA. I transferred to Elizabeth City State University, our city's university. Though no Colorado State University they were close and offered a biology degree program. I'm still in North Carolina today, working on finishing up my degree. I'm set to graduate spring 2013.

My physical function continues to improve. I go periodically to Kennedy Krieger for additional rehab. These 2 week bouts, nicknamed “Boot Camp”, yield the most exciting results. In January 2011 I trialed using two canes instead of walking with crutches. In June 2011 I trialed using an AFO (Ankle Foot Orthosis, up to just below the knee) instead of the KAFO (Knee Ankle Foot Orthosis, up to the hip) I had used up to that point. I started out the fall semester of school vowing that I would not bring the wheelchair from the house; every time I left the house I would have to take my leg brace. I was still using my KAFO when I walked anywhere and used the AFO only in therapy. The KAFO was a heavy mess of wires and levers. October 2011, one of the wires on my KAFO snapped during a long holiday weekend. Since I had sworn to not take the wheelchair from the house I used my AFO the rest of the weekend; I never went back.

Trialing out two canes instead of crutches.

I finally ditched the wheelchair completely this past January, two years after my accident. I was using the AFO and canes well enough that I felt it was time. It was hard to get used to at first but I managed eventually. My wheelchair now serves only as a bed for my cats.

My most recent accomplishment is to have regained enough strength and balance to switch to walking using only one cane. Not quite as dramatic a shift as some of my others, it still wasn't easy to adjust to losing a walking aid. I continue to work toward my eventual goal of walking without any leg braces or canes. I'm not there yet but these past two and a half years have shown me it's more than possible.

With one cane and my AFO.

I'm not the boy I was. Who can say what I'll do with my life now since I almost lost mine. The focus of my journey has changed quite a bit, from learning how to use my wheelchair to walking again. I'm walking full time now but it wasn't quick or easy.

I fully acknowledge I was lucky my injury wasn't as severe as it could have been and that I had a lot of help along the way. I can't speak for everyone with a spinal cord injury, since each experience is different. I do know that the most important thing is to be up and aiming toward something. Whether this is finishing the next level of school, getting back function, or simply being fit enough to try something new. At one point I would have stayed in bed and given up. And if I had stayed there I would never have gotten out of my chair. So who knows where you might end up.

One suggestion was to get shoes with more ankle support. I'm pretty sure they were talking about hiking boots but since I have a sense of style I got a pair of Chuck Taylors, the old school high top Converse. Though I wasn't expecting these to make any difference, I found myself walking better and better.

Oh my god, shoes!

I began walking so well that I decided to leave the cane at home. That first day was kinda rough but after that I just kept going. It's now been 2 weeks since I used my cane at all!

No I didn't break my canes. They're in the corner collecting dust!

Saturday, December 29, 2012

3-year Anniversary of My Accident

I haven't written anything on this blog in a while but the anniversary of my car accident is a date I couldn't ignore.

If you happen to be reading this blog for the first time, read this post first, explaining my story.
(If anyone wants to see how things have changed you can check out my First Post After The Accident, Year 1, and Year 2)

This year has been one of continuing progress. I've had 2 different leg braces, ending the year using the Allard Toe-OFF AFO, an ankle brace that makes use of carbon fiber to make it durable and light. This is my smallest and lightest brace yet, compensating for the lack of ankle movement in my left leg.

Some of my old braces took about 5 minutes or more to get on. This takes about a minute.

I've still had my share of medical issues. I've had multiple surgeries for an ongoing infection that's gotten all the way down to the metal in my back. Once metal hardware is infected (especially necessary hardware that you can't remove) it's very hard to get rid of. Precautions have been taken and every measure is being taken to try and eradicate the bug in my back.

Read my 5 Insights From the ER

I finished another semester, leaving me only one more until I graduate with my bachelor's degree in biology. I'm already applying to graduate schools for next fall, where I'll study bioinformatics (a combination biology and computer programming).

I've been continuing to explore my new found passion for painting. This year I painted my Christmas gifts for people, coming up with a few really great ones. Some are better than others but I had fun painting each and every one of them.

Wookie The Chew

The tabernacle of a church, painted for my mother.

The Four Seasons, for Q. Try looking at it upside-down.

The final painting turned out really well, though this picture didn't do it justice.

The original.

The Nightmare Before Christmas, for Kayla.

Batman Celtic Knot, for Philip.

The Sun Over Lake Michigan, for my aunt.

Minas Tirith from Lord of the Rings, for my dad.

My friend Cat asked for a picture of me and I painted her this.

There are still a couple of others in the mail that I won't post. Needless to say I've been spending countless hours working on these. The best part is that from all my brainstorming sessions of what to paint for people, I have a giant stack of painting ideas and sketches that I can still use.

Lastly I want to thank everyone who's helped me along this past year. I've worked hard but no one gets anywhere without some from help of those around them (family or friends). I first want to thank my Mom and Dad, who've been there to kick my butt over the years when I'd already given up. Dad, thank you for being there for advice, counsel, and a fresh pair of eyes. Mom, you've been there since since the beginning and have carried me kicking and screaming down the road to recovery; I love you both more than words can convey. To my siblings, thanks for being there to dish out the family gossip, to commiserate, to give me a patient ear when I've needed it, and helping to keep my life in perspective. Thanks Philip, a true friend through anything. Thanks Kelley, my amazing faghag, who helped keep me sane no matter what was going on in my life. Thanks Tony, for reminding me to relax and enjoy life and not to take things so seriously. Thanks Kayla and Eli, the cutest family I know, for reminding me what's important in life. Thanks all the staff of Coastal Rehab (though especially Mindy and Lynn) for tireless working to keep me improving. Thanks to all the staff up at the Kennedy Kreiger Institute and The International Center for Spinal Cord Injury (Kristin, Meredith, Brooke, Stephanie, Marjorie, and so many more) who've been the driving force in my rehab since I was first injured. Thanks to all the doctors (there's dozens), nurses (hundreds), and other staff who've helped me with my ever climbing number of medical visits. Thank you to the orthotists who've worked tirelessly to make sure I have a working leg brace, without which I wouldn't be walking at all. Thank you to all the people who've read my blog, followed me on facebook, tumblr, etc; though this may be just a way to pass time for you, the support I've received from all of you has kept me going for all these years.

I'm currently up in Baltimore for Boot Camp again, so expect updates to follow in the next few days.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

How Do You Find Balance?

How do people find balance in their lives? I've always had a hard time balancing things in my life. I tend to go to extremes whenever I have a choice in front of me and it comes back to bite me EVERY TIME! You think I'd have learned by. There are the things I've always struggled with (homework vs. leisure time, clean vs. orderly, health food vs. junk food) but I've got a few that have come to the forefront lately.

1) Slides vs. Hitchhiking
A project I've been working on for my parents is to scan in their old projector slides. My dad is a photobug and has slides going back to when he was a kid (though most are from me and my siblings lifetimes). Realizing that the film was degrading my dad got an attachment for our scanner so that we could scan them into the computer. Only problem is that it only scans in four slides at a time.

It takes about 2-3 hours to scan in one carousel of slides. Most boring job I've ever had.

This extremely tedious task was offered to me, in exchange for a small amount of gas money. As I'm not otherwise employed this is one of my few opportunities for real work, so I dived right into it. For obvious reasons I'd rather drive myself, rather than say hitchhiking. I started doing 2-3 reels a day.

If I ever do end up hitchhiking I won't forget my towel.

The problem with this is the longer I did this the more I felt increased lower back pain. My back pain had more or less vanished since I gave up my wheelchair at the beginning of this year. If I push myself too hard scanning slides, I end up slightly less broke but in pain. I've been trying to moderate myself, only doing one (maybe one and a half) a day; gas is a good motivator but back pain is a good deterrent. Finding balance is the goal but it's hard not to do a ton or give up entirely. It's a process...

2) Old Brace vs. New Brace
I'm now in the middle of two different braces, both AFOs. The Allard ToeOFF is a carbon fiber brace with enough flexibility to let me bend my leg a little without falling over.

They can both be a pain in different ways. My old AFO gives me blisters on my heal and cuts into my skin near my knee. The new AFO gives me blisters where the bottom strap is. Since my leg is used to the old AFO it does far less damage, but the new AFO allows me a more natural gait and more freedom of motion. I tried wearing my new AFO full time but the skin around the straps isn't ready for full time usage. I'll try and ramp up the amount of time I spend in it but it's going to be a long time before it's ready for full time use.

3)School Mode vs. Exercise Mode vs. Internet Mode
I come from a family of procrastinators so it's hard to get the things I need to accomplished. I'm doing well in school but I still struggle with finding time for everything else in my life. I try and spend so much time each week exercising but it inevitably gets sucked into school time or internet time (i.e. this blog). I love my blog, since it's how I communicate with family and friends on how my recovery is going. But to keep writing is a lot of work, especially when I've got a million other things on my plate.

Be sure to check out The Turtle Walks facebook page.

It's not perfect but somehow I've struggled and found a tentative balance between all the activities in my life. For now, it's working. No matter how tempting I won't blow off school, my exercise time, or writing on this blog; they've all become important parts of my life. Just don't ask me for anything else; not because I wouldn't do it but I'd end up doing it when I get around to it. And I have been known for being a little flaky...

Yep, that's me alright.

Let me know how you find balance for your life.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Back on Campus

In one of my last posts I wrote I was traveling up to Albany, NY where I'm taking a summer class. If everything goes well I should be able to graduate in the spring. It is kind of bizarre being back on campus again, though besides the gurgling from the vacuum pump on my back my newest injuries haven't affected my class too much. At least the teacher always remembers my name.

I've been doing a lot of walking lately to the different parts of campus. We park near my class but if I want to visit the library (which I do nearly every day) or go grab food at the cafeteria, it can be quite a hike. At my usual pace it takes me a while to get anywhere.

One of my favorite lines when traveling with someone else is "I only have one pace, so SLOW DOWN!" I am usually yelling that at the backs of whomever I am walking with. This, in all honesty, isn't completely the truth. I have two speeds: turtle speed and turtle hyper speed. Turtle speed is about the pace of a lazy stroll to anyone else. It let's me focus on staying upright, contracting the muscles I'm supposed to (abs, glutes, leg muscles, back muscles, etc.), and walking in a more or less straight line. Turtle hyper speed is the speed akin to a slow speed walk. Like a spaceship on any sci-fi show, I can only manage this over short distances and it wears me out when I do.

Recently, I've been practicing on these cross-campus journeys to try and maintain turtle hyper speed over longer distances. Only problem with this is that when I tire myself out I tend to catch my feet on things and I loose my balance. Which leads to me picking myself off the ground.

It is good to be back doing something. I'm terrible at self-motivating but if I have something to work towards I am an over-achiever. So here's to new places to go and new goals to achieve. Just slow down for me, otherwise you'll be doing a lot of waiting while I'm working on my goals.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Out of the Fire and Into Purgatory

I'm finally out of the hospital, which is a relief. I still have the four drains in and I'm waiting for the wound care company to send in a portable Wound V.A.C., a machine that creates a vacuum to close a wound faster. I'm allowed to walk around but that is pretty much all I'm allowed to do. I'm on spinal restrictions: no twisting, no lifting over 5 lbs, and no bending.

No bending! Doctors never let me do anything fun...

I'm mostly just bored. Summer vacation is finally here and I have nothing to do. I'd normally not complain but we're staying in Baltimore for an extra two more weeks. It doesn't make sense to go home yet with all of the doctor's appointments and checkups I'll need. This leaves me in a small apartment with with nothing to do. I can catch up on my favorite shows, read a book, take a few walks here and there, etc. I'm not itching to get out of here yet but I can feel it coming.

On a more cheerful note I was the winner of Johns Hopkins Annual Turtle Derby! Proceeds go to benefit the Children's Center at Johns Hopkins. It's a $10 fee to enter a turtle into the Derby. In my last post I mentioned I was entering a turtle and had named her Calypso. I was never expecting to hear about her again but she won 1st place! Sadly I wasn't able to attend because I had been put on bed rest but I won a cool blue ribbon and $100! Since the initial seed money was from my mother I owe her that back but that means I earned a cool $90 from turtle racing. Who knew turtle racing would be so lucrative?

This is from last year's Turtle Derby. I haven't been able to locate any pictures from this years. :( If anyone is able to find any send me the link.

I'll get back to my old self again soon enough. I'm already moving around better than I was and improving every day. Assuming that I actually heal up right this time I'll be back to limping around at turtle pace before you know it.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Boot Camp Day 2-3: Exciting Possibilities

Days two and three of Boot Camp have gone pretty smoothly. There are a few things that are exciting, ignoring the grueling exercises to build strength and endurance. The two most exciting were getting to trial a new type of ankle brace and getting to work on one of their high-tech treadmills.

Carbon Fiber AFO (Ankle-Foot Orthosis)

The carbon fiber AFO is made of stronger material than the soft plastic one I'm using now. This allows them to use less material. My real one most likely won't look exactly this; it may have more straps, more plastic along the sides, and I will likely need some kind ankle stabilizer to keep it from rolling. Regardless of what it end up looking like it is something to work toward. I will likely be trialing a few different models in the coming week and a half. I won't be ready to switch to the new brace full time right away but just having a goal will help me push myself forward.

Split-belt Treadmill

The model in the PT gym had belts that looked like tank treads. I secretly hoped it transformed into a tank and would run down its enemies. Sadly it was not and did not.

This is essentially just a treadmill with a bunch of extra functions but it was cool to test out some of these "fun" features. For instance, the two belts are capable of moving at different speeds. The treads can also move backwards, and at an incline.

Okay it's not really all that exciting but it beats walking in place and staring at a wall. These different features help to challenge my balance, strength, and coordination through walking.It's simply another tool in my therapist's arsenal.These will include different walking devices, leg supports, electrical stimulation units, and a wii (I have played it during past trips though not during this one. Yet.) We'll see what I end up using and what I will take away and use in my PT program at home.