One year ago today I was in a car accident. I broke two vertebrae, both arms, bashed up my kidneys and a bunch of other internal organs. I had stayed up the previous video games and then I slept the car ride down the coast. And then I was unconscious for the rest of the day. I can hardly remember that day and yet it is a day I will never be able to forget.
I debated for so long on what I should write today, on this anniversary of sorts. How do I put down into words a years worth of changes? I've tried in my previous posts and haven't managed to cover it.. Read those if you want to see my transformation, but I can't spend today dwelling on it.
I was going to show what happened to me through my scars, but then I remembered I had already done that. (back, arm, etc.) The scars are a little more faded but they are still there for everyone to see. Everyone I meet see those scars, the symbols for what I have gone through. But I am not the only one going through this; everyone who has supported me through this bears their own scars, some more some less, which unlike mine cannot be seen.
Instead I'm going to turn this outward. I want to use this space to thank those that got me this far. You can't go through something like this alone. These people have brought me, kicking and screaming sometimes, to where I am today. Thank you.
My parents, for they have given me strength, watched my progress from the start, held me while I cried, listened to my rants, drove cross country (twice), and done so so so much more. My various doctors, nurses, aids, etc., for without all of them I wouldn't be alive. My brothers and my sister, who reminded me that no matter what happens I will always be that little kid with scraped up knees who couldn't spell. My extended family, who sent me love, prayers, presents, clothes, and gave me a support network when I needed one. The three cousins who I lived with in particular, who reminded me that there are few joys in life better than nerf guns, video games and legos. My different therapists: Maria, Alicia, Meredith, Stephanie, Beth, Varsha, Marjorie, Carol, Sue, Lynn Peter, Mindy, Joan … the list goes on and on (I”m sorry for those I forgot because there are a zillion of you); you have given me the drive to push myself when I had none. Moria, who was my own private drill sergeant, life coach, swim coach, sounding board, friend, and so much more. My friends who I met in rehab, who were already fighting when I was just learning how; keep it up, for the day when one of us gives up hope all of us loose. My friends out in Colorado, Washington, etc., you guys called, texted, facebooked, emailed, webcamed, reminding me when all my thoughts were turned into dark places that I was not alone. Kayla, who has been there through the darkest dark and the brightest light, reminding me that I was loved and that being too sane will drive you crazy sometimes. Those who came to my sisters fundraisers and donated even at a time when everyone is hurting. Those across different states and different continents who have sent me prayers, leaving me staggered by the size of a chain of prayers that stretches the globe. Those I cannot mention because it is too painful; you know who you are and thank you.
This list doesn't even begin to do justice to all the people who have gotten me through this past year. It is humbling to think of all the people and more coming together for me. I couldn't have possibly imagined all of this before this last year. I was never really alone but now it is so much more visible. I am so lucky to have this amazing support network of people who care.