Because I'm stuck.
Things are actually going fairly well. I'm working out in PT, swimming at the YMCA, and walking a whole bunch with my brace. It's not that things haven't improved at all; look at last year compared to now: no movement vs. walking around a ton. So in perspective things look pretty good.
I'm just kind of stuck in the "making do" phase, where I have to live with what I've got and learn to use it. Not to say that I won't improve, but there's not much I can do to force new nerves to grow any faster. So in the meantime I'm stuck waiting. I have the hope of my new brace coming, which is very exciting believe me. But it'll probably be a few weeks until it comes in, gets adjusted, and I can finally use it. I'm working hard to strengthen the muscles I already have, but I'm only one or two miles in and I have the rest of the marathon to finish.
My dad once told me that war was 99% pure boredom and 1% pure terror. If that's the case this is definitely war on my body. It's not like I don't have things to do here (lord knows I wish I could do away with a few) but my routine stays the same. I'm not even close to done and yet the road keep stretching on into the distance. I just wish I could have a clear concise YOU DID IT! and move on. Such is life I guess.
And for all those other people who are single on Valentine's Day, here's to us:
Click the picture for the story of Calypso, the Three Legged Green Sea Turtle, and why she's my symbol
I know it must be incredibly hard beyond anything I've ever endured. But your progress IS amazing and I am amazed by each of your stories. All I can say is, get that next mile done and let the marathon worry about itself. You CAN do it!
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